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Happy Holidays from SexArt!

Happy Holidays from all of us at SexArt. 

We hope Santa leaves you something sexy in your stocking, whether you've been naughty or nice - or even, like our gorgeous models Cherry Kiss and Katy Sky, a little bit of both. 

Season's Greetings, and thanks for sharing so much naughty fun with us this year. 

 

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Sexual Politics

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

From how we do it to whom we do it with, sex is personal – but is it linked to our politics?

The stereotypes about our political personalities are ubiquitous, especially in the United States. From the promiscuous, birth control using Democrat who supports Planned Parenthood, to the truck balls owning, toxically masculine Republican affirming his “alpha” position by ridiculing his perceived enemies as “cucks,” our views on politics are often linked (in appearance, if not in actuality) to our views on sex. But what kind of sex are Republicans and Democrats actually having? Do our preconceived notions of the parties line up with what’s really happening in their fantasies?

I was surprised to see this discussion on a recent episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a longstanding comedy-news talk show. Though the findings were reduced to a quick punchline, the study Colbert referenced was real. Published in a book entitled “Tell Me What You Want,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller surveyed 4,175 adult Americans from all 50 states, collecting data on a variety of different situations, people, political figures and other potential turn-ons. The analysis shines an interesting light on the American sexual psyche.

Republicans, for instance, were more likely to fantasize about activities that involve sex outside of marriage like infidelity, orgies and partner swapping, including 1970s-style “key parties” and modern-day forms of swinging. Republicans also reported more fantasies with voyeuristic themes, including visiting strip clubs and practicing something known as “cuckolding” which involves watching one’s partner have sex with someone else, specifically someone who is better in bed than you are. This is the origin of the term “cuck,” which has become a popular pejorative in modern Republican and “Proud Boy” online communities.

Democrats, on the other hand, were more likely to fantasize about sexual activities that involved power dynamics, such as BDSM. In fact, the largest bedroom disparity between Republicans and Democrats was their interest in masochism – enjoying pleasure through the experience of pain. Spanking, bondage, and dominant/submissive roleplay were far more likely to titillate Democrats than Republicans.

Dr. Lehmiller’s theory about these differences between the parties boils down to a mainline through the human psyche regardless of politics – the appeal of taboo. It’s easy to see where these marked disparities may come from when viewed through this frame. Republicans are guided by a party platform that touts the “sanctity of traditional marriage,” which would make any sort of non-monogamous exploration verboten. Meanwhile, Democrats may be drawn to power exchange because their party so staunchly stands for equality. Dr Lehmiller writes, “The appeal of the taboo stems from a long-standing principle of psychology known as reactance – which stipulates that when our freedom is threatened and we’re told we can’t do something, we want to do it even more. Many a parent has discovered this principle and used it to their benefit in shaping behavior through reverse psychology: Frame the desired act as something your [offspring] isn’t allowed to do and you just might get what you want.”

There were many similarities between the fantasy lives of those surveyed, as well. Markedly crossing party lines was the inclination toward trying new things, whether they be new partners or new experiences. Additionally, almost everyone surveyed reported that they enjoyed situations and scenarios where they felt validated and competent, indicating that we seek to fulfil our emotional desires even in our fantasies. Behind all of our political slogans and kinky fantasies, it would seem that humans are still striving to meet the same set of psychological needs.

While one cannot jump to conclusions about our sexual proclivities based on survey alone, it’s important to note this data and frame it within the greater spectrum of knowledge. Our sexuality is of course not solely the product of our politics – but this research shows that the two appear to be linked. It stands to reason that the frame with which we view the world would also be the frame with which we view ourselves – and our sexuality.

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

REFERENCES:

Brehm, J.W. (1966). A theory of psychological reactance. http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1967-08061-000

Lehmiller, J. (2018, August 28). Tell Me What You Want. https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/justin-j-lehmiller/tell-me-what-you-want/9780738234953/

Lehmiller, J., Scher, B., Greenfield, J., and Alberta, T. (2018, October 27). Republicans and Democrats Don’t Just Disagree About Politics. They Have Different Sexual Fantasies. https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/10/27/sexual-fantasies-republicans-democrats-politics-221919

Schwartz, D. (2016, August 01). Why Angry White Men Love Calling People “Cucks”. https://www.gq.com/story/why-angry-white-men-love-calling-people-cucks

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. (2018, November 03). Republicans And Democrats Have Different Sexy Thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3neoZaTEUeM

Urban Dictionary (n.d.). Truck balls. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=truck%20balls

 

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Melissa Benz: sexy flexy

I’ve just watched the incredibly sexy Melissa Benz working her magic in Andrej Lupin’s erotic movie “Bright Love” and now I know exactly why she’s called Benz! What an amazingly flexible beauty who knows how to use that supple body to enhance her partner’s sexual pleasure as much as her own.

At first, I just enjoyed the sight of her lowering her face down onto Juan Lucho’s cock for a superb hands-free blowjob, which is always a turn-on to watch. She looks really cute in those white panties with a cat face over her pussy, and she’s got great tits with delicious puffy nipples. She looks even hotter straddling him and riding his cock… and then comes the moment that really blows me away!

She’s bouncing up and down on that thick shaft, obviously really getting into it, and then she climbs off him and slides up to plant her sweet pussy on his mouth, getting into a full split position right on his face. She spreads her legs so wide that he has total access to her pussy and ass, nothing but his tongue touching her.

Kudos to him for not blowing his load right then, with a mouthful of that wet pussy. But no, he fucks her in spoons with her leg right up in the air, toes pointed like a gymnast, and then they move into missionary and her legs are parted so wide and so straight that her feet are on a level with her shoulders. She’s so opened up that Juan could take a run up and dive straight in. It must feel incredible.

I’ve watched the movie several times now, and I fall more deeply in lust with Melissa on every viewing. Please make a movie that uses her incredible flexibility to an even greater extent. I’d love to see a gymnast themed movie, or to watch her in a sex swing, strapped in a split, swinging over an outstretched tongue until she orgasms. I can only imagine what else she can do, and I would love to find out!

 

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Yeah I masturbate!

About the author: Allison Leigh is a pornographer, producer, polyamorist, and professional kinkster. When sexuality is business, business is fun! 

When I was in my punk phase, I acquired a pin that proudly proclaimed, YEAH, I MASTURBATE. I thought it was hilarious, but I don’t believe I truly appreciated how political the statement was. Despite a thousand euphemisms, masturbation is something rarely discussed and almost never referred to by name. But what if our aversion to calling it what it is – self pleasure – is holding us back from really enjoying it?

Handed to us via thousands of years of religious and societal reinforcement, the reason we giggle or shift uncomfortably in our seats at any reference to masturbation is that annoying social shaper, shame. Unlike its sister emotion, guilt, which informs the brain that “what I have done is bad,” shame lacks that key distinction and tells us “I am bad.” Presumably, the function of shame is to encourage us to improve our behavior in future. While shame can have healthy applications, such as making us strive to do better by our peers, feeling like you’re dirty or disgusting is a major mood killer.

Shame has been linked to addiction, perfectionism, depression and low self-esteem – and none of those are drives we want anywhere near our sexuality, save for certain consensual fetish activities. Being ashamed can impel us to attack ourselves, or to externalize our emotions by attacking other people, which causes the cycle to continue. When a comedian mentions masturbation and everyone giggles nervously or sinks into their seats, it’s not because the joke is inherently funny – it’s because we’ve been taught that this activity is shameful. Both the joke and the response are part of a circle of conditioning, passing the shame from person to person. Everyone goes home having the shame of touching themselves reinforced, and no one feels very sexy about it.

So how do we combat the social stigma that causes us to feel so much shame about self-pleasure? After all, we’ve already proven countless times that masturbation is healthy, normal, and even good for you – it certainly seems that we should be over this hang-up by now. We’re conscious that having a good wank is nothing to be ashamed of. Now, if only we could fight the blush rising in our cheeks at the very thought of it…

I heartily recommend freeing yourself from the inherited shame of masturbation, and start calling your “alone time” what it is. In the process, you will start relieving others of that shame as well. Obviously you don’t want to force the topic onto others without their consent, but talking about your feelings and being frank about fingering (or your own preferred method) is the best hope for society to heal our collective discomfort surrounding masturbation. If we can stop passing our shame to others, we can actively create a positive culture and work toward wholeheartedly embracing healthy sexuality.

This post first appeared on MyErotica.com

 

REFERENCES:

Ashby, J. S., Rice, K. G., & Martin, J. L. (2006, 04). Perfectionism, Shame, and Depressive Symptoms. Journal of Counseling & Development, 84(2), 148–156. doi:10.1002/j.1556–6678.2006.tb00390.x

Capretto, L. (2013, April 18). WATCH: What To Tell Yourself When You Screw Up. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/18/brene-brown-shame-guilt-addiction-oprah_n_2966351.html

Crew, B. (2018, January 25). Is Masturbation Good For You? Science Weighs In. https://www.sciencealert.com/is-masturbation-good-for-you-science-answer

Gregoire, C. (2016, March 03). The Unexpected Reason It’s Healthy To Feel Shame. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/shame-psychology-evolution_us_56d4428ce4b0871f60ebf5c9

Gruenewald, T. L., Kemeny, M. E., Aziz, N., & Fahey, J. L. (2004, 11). Acute Threat to the Social Self: Shame, Social Self-esteem, and Cortisol Activity. Psychosomatic Medicine, 66(6), 915–924. doi:10.1097/01.psy.0000143639.61693.ef

Sack, D. (2015, January 13). 5 Ways to Silence Shame. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201501/5-ways-silence-shame

Wehrenberg, M. (2015, July 7). Shame and Depression. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/depression-management-techniques/201507/shame-and-depression

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