Something that crops up frequently in comments from members is how much you enjoy hearing the performers communicate with each other during sex. Whether it’s little moans and whimpers of approval or full-on directions, the verbal exchange between the participants adds an extra dimension to their chemistry and makes the sex more authentic and relatable.
So it comes as no surprise that Andrej Lupin’s recent movie “Consultant” was a big hit, with sex therapist Samantha Bentley giving a professional but highly graphic description of the action, as she talks her increasingly self-assured client through the finer points of fingering, pussy eating and face-sitting. As one member commented, “People talk during sex... they ask for things, they give directions, they ask for and give feedback, they talk dirty to each other, etc. If erotica is supposed to be (at least in part) a reflection of real sex and not only idealized sex, then it should include dialogue.”
In my experience, women are usually pretty comfortable with giving each other directions during sex. If you want your pussy eaten right, you really do have to give some clues, as everyone responds differently and so what works for your lady lover may not feel so great to you. Even if it’s just, “Harder… slower… a little to the left… oh yeah, right there!” you will save yourself an awful lot of frustration if you give feedback, so long as it’s done in a positive way.
I have to confess though, what really turns me on like crazy is men giving me orders in the bedroom (although they’d better not try it anywhere else!). It instantly awakens my submissive side, and I can even pinpoint exactly where that particular little kink originated. I was only about 19 and had hooked up with a very well-endowed guy; I was sitting on the edge of the bed with his crotch in front of my face, wondering if it was even possible to get his whole cock in my mouth when he told me: “Suck it.” So… I did. That simple command, given in a low growl, made me obey without question; if I close my eyes I can still hear it to this day, and the memory still makes me hot. His very vocal expressions of approval as I followed his instructions were the icing on the cake and left me with a lifelong love of giving blowjobs, taking sexual orders, and dirty talk in general.
Some people feel shy about voicing what they want, and if you are a little inhibited, start small – trying to string together a whole sentence in your head if you’re feeling awkward can take you out of the zone. “When I do sexuality workshops, the word ‘yes’ is consistently one of people’s favorite words,” says Ruth Neustifter, Ph.D., author of “The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty.” Giving feedback about your own arousal – “I’m so turned on,” “That feels amazing,” “I’m about to come,” is another way to give your partner positive feedback. If you’re comfortable with that, asking for what you want – “It feels so incredible when you touch me there,” “It drives me wild when you…” is a gentle way to give directions. Of course if you’re confident and you know your partner is into it too, you can take it to a whole new level with requests, orders and demands, conveyed in as graphic terms as you wish… and that’s the point at which you’ll be guaranteed my full attention and compliance.
If you, like me, are aurally and verbally inclined, I know you’ll be happy with a new handful of movies coming over the next few weeks – a long-overdue addition to our acclaimed “Girls Love Sex” series, directed by legendary SexArt auteur Bo Llanberris and starring some of his most popular models. It kicks off on Sunday with delicious redhead Elle Alexandra, who is refreshingly upfront when it comes to talking about what turns her on. Watching her get herself off with the sound of her sexy voice still in my ears certainly worked for me. I haven’t seen the whole series yet, and I can’t wait to discover whether any of the girls get really graphic… I live in hope.