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What does a woman want?

That's the question Sigmund Freud was unable to answer even after thirty years of research into the feminine soul. And it's been asked countless times — but never adequately answered — throughout human history. Whether it's during courtship, in the course of a relationship, within the bonds of matrimony, or after a break-up or divorce, men have pondered the question endlessly. And today, with rapidly advancing technology and ever-deepening scientific understanding of how the human brain functions, this timeless question still remains unsolved.


I won't try to answer the broad question here, either. But I would like to narrow the focus of the enquiry and rephrase it:

What does a woman want from Sexart, and from erotica in general?

From cave paintings to Internet porn, erotica — graphic representations of sexual activity — has existed throughout human history. In modern times — let's say since the invention of photography — its growth has been exponential. Cultural evolution and technological innovation have only expanded erotica's reach and its audience.

And generally, with notable exceptions, graphic erotica has been produced and consumed predominantly by men.

The sexual revolution of the sixties, the era of "porno chic" inspired by the release of "Deep Throat" in 1972, the advent of XXX home video, the Internet, and the mainstream success of blockbuster best seller "Fifty Shades of Grey," have all been factors in the "mainstreaming" of erotica, and in the expansion of the female audience. But porn is still mainly created by men for a predominantly male audience.

But the female audience is evolving and expanding, and society is changing, as well. The creators of Sexart had these facts very much in mind when the were developing the site. Creating content that would appeal to and satisfy the needs of women was a fundamental goal of Sexart. The female orgasm — something of an afterthought in most XXX product — would be emphasized, honored, and celebrated by Sexart.

Sexart's emphasis on and attention to the female perspective is one of the key factors that separates, elevates, and differentiates the site from the so-called competition. And anticipating the female audience's needs and desires is one of the challenges Sexart deals with as it strives to create entertainment for an audience of discriminating women and men.

I'll ask the title question once more, but this time I'll address specific aspects of erotica and erotic entertainment. Also note that I'm addressing these questions specifically to female Sexart members, but that relevant comments from males are welcome.

How do you think women and men differ in their appreciation of erotic entertainment?

Gonzo and POV porn — no plot/all raw sex — seem like very male genres. How do women feel about them?

Elaborate, involving stories, complex plots, romance, drama, and intrigue seem — at least according to the conventional wisdom — like things that would appeal to women. How much story does an X-rated movie need to appeal to a female sensibility? A little? A lot? None at all?

If "hard-core" is male...is "soft-core" more female-friendly? How graphic is too graphic? Do women want to see it all? Or would they prefer that the more explicit bits be left to the imagination?

If you were a single woman looking for erotica, would the erotica you viewed be different than the erotica you'd choose to view with a partner in a relationship?

If you're in a relationship, is the erotica you view as a couple chosen by you, or by your partner?

What is "gross" and what is "hot"?

Is there anything you've see in mainstream erotica that was a total turn-off?

Do you think that men and women are turned on by the same things — can they both equally enjoy the same film, at the same time, in the same way?

As a woman, do you prefer to view erotica by yourself or with a partner(s)?

What types of situations/themes/stories would you like to see in Sexart HD erotic feature films?

As a female consumer of erotica, how could Sexart better satisfy your erotic entertainment needs and desires?

I look forward to reading your answers, thoughts, and general theories in the comments, below.

Members Comments (13)

S

Snowfall1 3 years ago

You guys all have interesting ideas, and are extremely articulate.
I cannot give the time to write at such length, so will remain a shallow voyeur of both the content and the comment ...

B

Beautylover 3 years ago

I am new to this site, and I see there is lots of movies, my wife and me have never seen erotic movies together and I want to start it, which ones are more appealing for a woman or a couple in general, please recommend a few. She has normally rejected porn for obvious reasons but likes romance movies with some erotic touch seen in regular films

J

Jonathan 3 years ago

Thank you B&TWWD, I appreciate you helping Beautylover with some great suggestions and insight. Welcome Beautylover, we are happy that you decided to join. Sexart is a great place to see thoughtful erotica. We shoot in an "Independent Film" style that is inviting and steers away from the vulgarity found on most sites. If watching as a couple, I think a great film to start with is Tantra Imaginations. It's a very loving film that shows a real couple having an intimate moment. We are lucky enough to see it unfold as though we are a fly on the wall. I hope you enjoy.

B

Blackhawk and The White Winged Dove 3 years ago

Welcome! I doubt that you'll find any films you find offensive here. It all comes down to a matter of taste, and whether you prefer BG of GG films. If you think your wife might be a little wary of watching, maybe some of the earlier films would be better to start - they are shorter and often have music right through so she might get a bit distracted and have less time for negative thoughts to arise! Also some are a lot more arty & stylised which might make her feel a little more comfortable with it. How about something like "The Expressionist" or "Primal"?

I

Isabelle 3 years ago

How do you think women and men differ in their appreciation of erotic entertainment?

My answers are purly from my own experiences with male partners I have been with throughout my life.
When it comes to erotica, I think men like to get right to the action whereas women are more inclined to want to experience the sexuality and sensuality of erotica. I have observed several of my partners watching porn and it's like watching them shift gears right to the climax. Women on the other hand like the tease, the slow build up, observing what is happening in the film and perhaps even feeling an intimate connection with the characters in the film.
Gonzo and POV porn — no plot/all raw sex — seem like very male genres. How do women feel about them? As for Gonzo/POV porn, Not for me.
Elaborate, involving stories, complex plots, romance, drama, and intrigue seem — at least according to the conventional wisdom — like things that would appeal to women. How much story does an X-rated movie need to appeal to a female sensibility? A little? A lot? None at all?

Personally, I like a lot of story, and I want an interesting story line too. I like romance/seduction with a kinky BDSM twist.

If "hard-core" is male...is "soft-core" more female-friendly? How graphic is too graphic? Do women want to see it all? Or would they prefer that the more explicit bits be left to the imagination?

Hardcore is not for me because I don't like to see women put in degrading situations/or made to perform degrading acts. Nasty and vulgar is not a turn on for me.

If you were a single woman looking for erotica, would the erotica you viewed be different than the erotica you'd choose to view with a partner in a relationship?

Absolutely not. If I am in a relationship, I don't hide anything. Especially the type of erotica I like to watch.

If you're in a relationship, is the erotica you view as a couple chosen by you, or by your partner? Both as we usually have very similar taste when it comes to the type of erotica we like to watch.

What is "gross" and what is "hot"?

Anything that degrades a women is gross to me. Hot is depicting sensuality and sexuality of a woman before she removes her clothes. Hot is allowing a woman to be strong, controlling and confident.

Is there anything you've see in mainstream erotica that was a total turn-off?

I have never watched Snuff films and never will, those type of films turn me off without even watching them.

Do you think that men and women are turned on by the same things — can they both equally enjoy the same film, at the same time, in the same way?

I believe men and women are wired differently, but I think they can be turned on by the same things, they can equally enjoy the same film, but I don't believe they will enjoy it in the same way.

As a woman, do you prefer to view erotica by yourself or with a partner(s)?

It depends on my mood, sometimes I like to watch it alone and other times with a partner.

What types of situations/themes/stories would you like to see in Sexart HD erotic feature films?

I love erotica where the women is in control. More movies like Be My Slave, more Sapphira:) Some cuckold erotica would be fun, gender fluid films would be great, and some interracial erotica would be really hot!

As a female consumer of erotica, how could Sexart better satisfy your erotic entertainment needs and desires?

More films like Deus Sex Machina, Be My Slave. I love the BDSM genre. Vanilla erotica does not hold my attention for very long, it has to have a kinky twist to it.

Thank you Adam for posting this topic!

B

Blackhawk and The White Winged Dove 3 years ago

Quick edit ... this is loooooong ... sorry!

OK you've got my interest piqued. What does a woman want? You don't get this man/woman thing, do you? We don't tell you, you have to find out. And when you get it wrong, we rip you :)

The vast majority of porn is made by men, for men, with male (lack of) sensibilities. Most of it now is aimed at complete inadequates, and is more about hatred and abuse than anything else. This hasn't always been the case. The brief "porn chic" era of the early '70s started well, but within a couple of years the material had become cheap and ugly, aimed at men, simply because it is easier that way and the market is bigger. Members from other countries may not know this, but porn was extremely illegal in the UK until 2000. Our first experience of it was on holiday in France in around 1979, when we ventured into an adult cinema and were just blown away by what we saw. The films were beautifully made (see Marilyn Mon Amor if you can get a DVD, if only all porn was made this way...), the audiences mixed and stylish. It became a bit of an obsession for a while, we went over a couple of times a year, but by the mid '80s the quality had gone, the films were more extreme, the audiences entirely male, and we stopped going. Again, they were making cheap easy material for the larger market. Apart from a few pirate videos, mostly Candida Royalle & Andrew Blake, we didn't see any more porn until the rise of the internet. Then, wow, did it go bad quickly. There seems to be no limit to the degradation many men want to see women put through. Throughout the history of pornography, every time there has been an outbreak of higher quality erotic material, it has slipped downhill relatively quickly. The other "heartcore" or "glamcore" sites have slipped their standards too, it seems to be what always happens in the end.

You wouldn't know it from looking at him sitting there eating a large portion of fish and chips and pickled onions with his fingers, but my dear old Hawk is the most emotionally intelligent man I've ever met, that's why I married him. Even for him, it isn't natural. He sees the ugly side and the abuse when he thinks about it, I feel it immediately. That is why decent men can end up watching horrible material and just not realise.

The "story line" thing is a bit of a cliche isn't it? Like us girlies have to have a bit of plot before we can let ourselves get turned on? No. We have been told that we need to think more before becoming aroused as a way of controlling female sexuality by claiming that there really isn't any - it certainly isn't the case in this house. A plot is fine if it fits in with the film, but it isn't necessary. A while ago someone recommended a film called "Wasteland". We found a ... er... download copy of it. Probably uniquely in the history of pornography, we ended up watching the plot and skipping the sex, which was absolutely repulsive. The point is, sticking a bit of plot around a load of gonzo style abuse does not a good film make. We would certainly never want to see anything like that on here.
Hawk mentioned before that we find softcore to be more sexist than hardcore, simply because it just puts girls on display for male gaze. The miserable Playboy style "erotic" films just do nothing, for me at least. There is no imagination them, they are just like hardcore but without the hardcore if you see what I mean. This place should be explicit. I certainly want to watch piston P going into hole C, close up and in focus, just not all the time. Yes, I want to see it all, but not mindlessly piling away for 20 minutes. Leave space for the imagination, see how Paul Black does it. Cut about, show faces. It doesn't have to be that long.

We mostly watch films together. Hawk occasionally watches films on his own, but he does look at the photos a lot(mainly on TLE which are much more interesting). Photos don't do it for me, but I quite often watch films on my own, only when I'm home alone and always films which I've seen before. I'm not sure why that is, but there are around 50 films from various sources which I watch on my own.

So, what do we want? Mostly you get it about right. We'd like a little more stylized material. I once saw a film called "Cafe Flesh", it was a bit rough around the edges but the idea of choreographed hardcore performances in front of a live audience has always intrigued me, it appeals to my exhibitionist side. There are several scenes from Tinto Brass films which have really worked for me, think of an explicit version of the Mambo Italiano & jukebox scenes in Miranda. The most important thing is this: If you are ever short of ideas, or a bit tired or bored and can't think what to do, or you've had a long and not very successful day on set and need to finish it off quickly ... don't just do something more sexually extreme and think "That'll do". It won't. Sure, some guys will like it, but a lot of us won't, and then you'll be on the slide.

Anyway, I have some more thoughts but I've just been informed that there are several pints of London Pride out there with Hawk's name on, and he needs to go and liberate them :) Just time for a quick proofread .... it could be a long night!

h

horsemaster 3 years ago

Brilliant and extraordinarily thoughtful comment. Great questions. Great response!

h

hayley13. 3 years ago

Each paragraph answers the respective questions as they are ordered above.

For the most part, I believe that males respond more readily to the visual components (woman’s body, features, etc.) of erotic film, whilst females respond greater to cerebral elements (plot, connection, music, location, etc.). This is not reflective of everyone however. These stimuli are interchangeable between genders.

Personally. I don’t like them. I don’t watch erotic film to feel as though I'm part of the scene. I watch it as a fly on the wall, to bare witness to a genuine, special, fun and loving connection that exists between the two people.

Alis’ ‘The Writer’ had all of the above, and ‘critically’ appraised, is the best collection of erotic films I have ever viewed. That being said, the films I find most erotic are those, which demonstrate?, no, CAPTURE: a loving, intimate, fun, genuine, real relationship between two people. For SexArt 2014, the film that has best captured this so far IMO is ‘Try’. Though, I watched a film recently, which was even better, however it was from an external source. If SexArt admin are interested, I can post a link to the film as a reply to this post.

Sapphira’s ‘My Day’ is the example I will use. Her tights were removed slowly and gradually. For quite some time, I couldn’t see what was going on, but the naturalness of the scene made things even more erotic and, in actual fact, the reveal of Sapphira’s privates was made so much more special and intimate. If someone invites you into their bedroom, they are deeming you worthy of seeing them. I want to be made feel that the person I am watching, is deeming me worthy.

I think it’s all about overcoming our sexual insecurities, and being honest and open with what we like and don’t like. I’m happy to watch most things with my partner, but sometimes I’m not so open to sharing my darker, fetish-like desires. Alis’ ‘Be My Slave VOL 2’ is an example of this. And the important thing this film did was blur the line. It showed the beauty and elegance of these desires. That film is really special to me, and I would love to see more like it, exploring things like ear play, foot play, neck kissing and sucking, gentle scratching, these sorts of things.

Both. More regularly myself.

SexArt is all about ‘tastefully’ showing explicit acts. For example: Mango’s scene in ‘Be My Slave VOL 2’ may be considered by many as gross, but the way it was shown made is somewhat sexy and somewhat hot. It’s the same with ‘Ariel-written’ films. Some of them are weird and different, but… ultimately it's all about the way explicit acts are portrayed, which can blur or change their status.

I have not seen many of the things that would otherwise be mentioned here (i.e. anal). So I can’t really comment. Perhaps my steering clear of them is reason enough to say I don’t like/enjoy the idea of them.

Yes and no. I think most SexArt films could probably be enjoyed by both genders. Which is great! But some things will coalesce, while others wont. Examples are the best way to explain here. IMO Bailey’s ‘Workout’ was a female oriented film, whilst Maddy and Danny’s ‘Intensify’ was a male oriented film. Each gender can still find the elements they like in each scene, but ultimately, I think these films are gender oriented. These films are ok every once in a while. It's variety and that's great.

More often than not, I find that I view it by myself. I would like to do it more regularly as a couple however.

The great majority of the time I find myself looking for something genuine and relatable. Andrej and Ariel do this wonderfully in almost all their films, and Alis’ ‘A Love Journey’ is a great example of this. I do like to be swept up in more complex, fantastical sort of things too, like Alis’ ‘The Writer’. Though these need to based in reality still, and not like, ‘The Game’ or ‘Spy Games’. I really love Alis’ ‘Be My Slave VOL 2’ and ‘The Heat’. These films are a little darker and involve a little fetishism. I think ultimately, it’s all about variety. But for me, I want variety that is relatable and based in reality.

I think it’s all been said above. But, if it’s possible I would love to see a 3-4 part storyline involving the lead up to, having of, and aftermath of a G/G/G threesome. A G/G couple, plus another G. Something genuine, authentic and meaningful. In this series, I would love to see an episode not featuring physical sex, but concentrating on the sexual energy and excitement regarding the lead up to having the threesome. It’s a big ask, and you don’t even have to consider it, but, there is no harm in asking.

Hope all this helps. Thanks for posing such an interesting topic Adam.

P.S. Sapphira and Michaela, if you girls get time, it would be awesome to hear your thoughts. I totally understand if you can't though. Again, no harm in asking right? And Lexi, can you pretty please write here too if you get the time? I love reading your comments and it would be awesome to hear your views on things.

f

_fer_realz_ 3 years ago

Hayley, I find your suggestion for a "story line" set of films interesting because I noticed that VivThomas.com specializes in that very thing... have you had an opportunity to check them out yet? If not, I recommend them to you.
I am posting this recommendation here even though it's another site because it is part of the MA family, I hope SexArt moderators won't be irritated with me... ( :

o

onelight 3 years ago

Adam,

I couldn't agree more that society is changing, including the evolution/expansion of not just the female audience, but the male audience as well. Great conversation starter! I'm male but what would seem like very male genres are a turn off to me; females may have the same response the other way around. I could say a lot more as to what I like in erotica, but that's irrelevant for now; we'll see what the ladies have to say.

But what I have to point out is that not only is the question broad, it is limiting as well. For too long the scope has been limited to traditional male and female, when the fact is we are not alone (not talking about extra-terrestrials, that's another story) but there are millions of transgenders among us who enjoy watching and performing erotica. If any consumer looks around, every main hub has a trans-section, there are thousands of shemale sites, they are in the news pushing for their rights and equality in the nation, to name a few. Unfortunately I'm leaving this site to explore HD quality transgender sites.

The relevant part is that this guy...(and male/females alike)...watches whatever it is that turns him on. Personally, even though I still find the female body attractive and beautiful to watch, the mental stimulation and imagination part is missing or too short. I already know they have melons, apples, and oranges and have seen it to the point where there's nothing new to anticipate. Transgenders, on the other hand, make you wonder and offer a whole new dimension of erotic pleasure. Here's the difference: I'm watching a fully-clothed female..."meh"...now I'm watching a fully-clothed transsexual..."hmm." Just to clarify, my taste is for trans who could literally pass for females, but with an extra "surprise." This is the new "hot" and is a turn-on...to this guy.

Regarding appreciation to erotic entertainment, there has to be some aspect that gives a newness and enticing aroma to porn which slowly fades over time and exposure. Desires are constantly expanding and whatever erotica it is that creates that feeling of newness as if seeing porn for the first time in your life...that is what me and others look for in erotica, without regard to gender or any other confines (age, color, nationality, species, etc.) That's why for me, the future of porn (because of technological advances and changing societal desires) will be virtual reality animated porn or films specifically shot for a virtual experience (ex. via Oculus Rift) which the adult industry is already involved with. No limits, no discrimination, no negative altercations from other people of what they think of your preferences!

As a male consumer of erotica, SexArt satisfied my needs and desires...up to a point...as with previous paid sites. I've mentioned two key recommendations to better satisfy my appetite, but even if steps were made, it would take considerable time and effort as both avenues are whole new arenas. There's a lot more I could say, but I don't feel welcome here anymore and would be surprised if this post doesn't get moderated.

Anyway, good day to you sir, it's been a pleasure!

h

horsemaster 3 years ago

Another thoughtful and rather heartfelt comment. I'm glad you posted it, onelight. My own tastes run to other areas, more what's been done so well here so far. I would not be FAN of transsexual pornography, but wouldn't mind an occasional exploration in this area. I DO want to hear more from the women here.

J

Jonathan 3 years ago

onelight-- you have awareness into a world I know nothing about. Sexart satisfies a niche, and that niche will not capture everyones hearts. I do not fool myself into thinking that I can satisfy everyone's kink here at Sexart. I fortunately have a platform that I can shape and mold into what satisfies me. If you haven't noticed I love Independent Film and softcore erotica, hence all the sites we own are softcore. Hardcore porn for me is vulgar and lacks any creative thought. My point to you is, we will always respect peoples thoughts and ideas, like yours above. You have insight and something valid to say that we welcome, even if it ultimately means you will move on to other sites that will satisfy your cravings-- take care.

o

onelight 3 years ago

Thanks Jonathan, I'm very grateful and appreciative of your response! Best wishes!!!